Bring on the Dog-Whisperer

Imagine our current economic crisis as a family crisis. Let’s say the young adult child maxes out her credit card and cannot get out from under the debt.

Imagine a parent willing to bail the kid out. Give her a fresh start. If that parent did so without placing any penalty or consequences on the child, and never added a repayment requirement, this would be the stuff of reality show dressing-down. Any of us now knows, there are no bad children or dogs, simply bad parents and bad owners who must assert authority in appropriate ways. Children, dogs and bankers need that kind of discipline.

Why should everyone of us bear the burden of their highly risky but personally profitable actions? Their willingness to tank our whole economy for their personal gain seems to be going unchecked. Those following behind, like a younger sibling, will say “Oh, I see how it goes. All risky fun and profit for me, no consequences if it doesn’t work out. And, I get bailed out! Yippee for me!”

Maybe we need one of those scary nannies or…

Better Still…imagine you have a dog that’s acting out. In the case of our economic crisis; we’ve had LOTS of Dogs acting out, for too long. No one has established alpha status to rein in the bad behavior. All the other dogs are behaving just as badly as they see they can get away with.

Bring in that hair-dresser turned dog-whisperer, Cesar Millan to smack some sense into those jerks on Capitol Hill. Actually, Cesar is firm without physical punishment. In Cesar’s opinion, no one should ever hit or yell at a dog to correct unwanted behavior.

I’d like to see it go something like this: [pretend you hear Cesar’s voice here or scary nanny, if you prefer…Mr. Spitzer down in front, please.]

“If we (the government) are going to give you (banks, insurers, i.e. DOGS) a huge bailout at the taxpayers’ expense, then we are going to set some criteria for how the repayment is going to go…”

You see how that works: Action: consequence. Gift: repayment. Pretty neat and tidy, eh?

This is a perfectly rational solution to the crisis we are in and it seems to me that no one in our emergency-session congress is raising this as a requirement for a bailout at taxpayer expense. They’re just looking to get their mug on the evening news and make some election-year hay out of our future which hangs in the balance.

There’s even a precedent for the repayment contingency plan. Read here about how the Swedes handled a similar debacle in their economy.

From Cesar’s website:

Though changing some behaviors can appear to happen in a relatively short period of time, none of those changes will “stick” unless the human (authority) acts consistently with his or her dog (Wall Street firm, actually dog works, too) every day to keep unwanted behaviors from returning.

We are giving the bad dogs on top of Wall Street permission to piss all over our living room rug, bite the mailman, whatever. We have let them act badly without consequence every day for years. Somehow, we believe if we bail them out now, they and their successors will magically alter their bad (and personally profitable) behavior out of the goodness of their hearts?

Cesar would never stand for it. Cesar Millan ’08. His Veep could be a scary nanny. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

6 Responses to “Bring on the Dog-Whisperer”

  1. 1 Buddies September 30, 2008 at 9:57 am

    Maybe they should do what I did this morning and actually raid the kid’s accounts for some cash. They seem to be the only ones in my house with liquidity.

  2. 2 jacqueline1230 September 30, 2008 at 10:23 am

    Nice site there!

    Kid’s piggy banks would not be safe here, either! Thanks for stopping by.

  3. 3 somd October 8, 2008 at 12:56 am

    I’m too depressed about our country’s financial situation to discuss it, so I’m just going to respond to tell you how much I LOOOOVE Cesar Milan! 🙂

  4. 4 jacqueline1230 October 8, 2008 at 8:53 am

    It’s all about training the people not the dogs!

  1. 1 Just in time for Thursday’s debate - the Sarah Palin Drinking Game! « The Leather District Gourmet Trackback on October 1, 2008 at 8:31 pm
  2. 2 Okay, forget about the Dog Whisperer. I want Pollan for Veep. « Jacqueline Church Trackback on October 15, 2008 at 8:57 am

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  1. Tales of the Cocktail may be over but the fun continues. Check the blogs and podcasts for all the news that fit to drink!
  2. The Maori art of facial tatooing is called moko. It is a powerful expression of tribal identity which has only recently enjoyed a resurgence as the colonial Christian prohibitions against it have lessened. Go to the Peabody Essex Museum for this rare opportunity to catch a glimpse of this amazing cultural tradition. The documentary I saw at Sundance years ago on moko, was one of the most powerful films I have ever seen.
  3. The Audubon Insectarium is a new and top-notch attraction in New Orleans. We passed by it and wondered why we'd missed it before. Turns out it's just now opening. No time this last trip, but it's on the list for the next time. Check here for info.

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